Abused, Discriminated Against and Labeled as the Enemy

الأحد 06 كانون الأول 2009

Written by Raghda Butros

In addition to the importance of discussing the rights of girls and women in our society, I believe there is also a need to rethink our attitudes towards the Jordanian male.

In Jordan’s public school system, boys are transferred to all boys’ schools at age nine where they are suddenly surrounded by all male teachers, school administrators and support staff. Given the conservative nature of many of these communities, this creates a situation where boys have no contact with girls or women outside their immediate family. As a result, girls and women remain a complete mystery to boys and young men, and are not perceived as individuals in their own right. In addition, and apart from their mothers, boys do not have a single authority female figure in their lives, which further contributes to the objectification and stereotyping of women by men in our society. On the other hand, male authority figures -teacher and administrators- often resort to a mix of physical abuse, intimidation and humiliation as means of “education’.

I have seen first hand several examples of children, particularly boys, being beaten with sticks and hose pipes in Amman’s public schools. This is in addition, of course, to the verbal, emotional and psychological abuse that the children are subjected to in the form of cursing, belittlement, mockery, ridicule and humiliation, amongst others.

There is no excuse whatsoever for allowing this kind of behavior in schools to continue. On paper, corporal punishment in schools is prohibited, but in reality it is an everyday occurrence and the teachers and school administration are never called on their behavior.

I realize it’s a complicated issue to deal with. I have had numerous discussions with teachers and I know that while they condone beating children and claim that it is the “only way” to deal with rowdy or difficult students, there is also a feeling helplessness and a lack of tools at their disposal to do otherwise. This is in addition to the fact that they too were brought up in this way and to the other disturbing fact that parents sometimes encourage teachers to beat their own children as a way to make them “better behaved”.

With the older boys there is the dilemma as well, that by not allowing the teachers to hit the students; the students would then sense weakness and beat the teachers, which even under the current set-up, sometimes happens.

Teachers and school administrators need to be trained, counseled and treated fairly by the system, but they also need to know that any abuse they inflict on their students will be met with tough and immediate measures that no “wasta” would be big enough to get them out of. We cannot sit by, as a government or a people, while our children are subjected to physical and emotional abuse on a daily basis at public institutions that are set up to serve the people.

It’s no wonder so many boys in the 8th and 9th grade in Jordan don’t know how to read and write. The problem of fear and abuse is at the heart of much of our children’s inability to learn and to become socially responsible citizens. It is also no wonder that so many boys opt to drop out of school, and given that so many others are taken out at a young age to work and support their families, society ends up with young men robbed of their right to an education and the opportunities, and widened horizons that this brings.

I have also seen firsthand than when boys of all ages are able spend time in an environment where girls are present and where women are teachers/managers/mentors, this goes a very long way to creating a healthy environment for interaction and a natural process of relationship-building which ensures that both boys and girls begin to view each other with less suspicion and helps breakdown some of the stereotypes. As a result, I am a strong advocate for having women teachers/administrators at boys’ schools in Jordan and allowing for schools to remain co-educational for longer. In the meantime and in parallel, kids need access to after school outlets where boys and girls can interact and take part in joint activities in a safe and nurturing environment.

Another crucial issue is that, this being a patriarchal society, there is an assumption that young men enjoy a host of privileges that young women do not. While it is true that boys and young men enjoy more mobility than their female counterparts, they are also subject to different forms of harassment and discrimination, and ones which are considered acceptable by society. For example, young men are not allowed into many public spaces around the city, including coffee shops, restaurants, shops, malls, souqs, hotels, swimming pools, amusement parks etc.

jordanian maleYoung men, especially those from lower-income communities, are deemed guilty and are not even given the opportunity to prove their innocence. As a result, they tend to not know how to behave and may behave badly, in the few areas where they are permitted, or where their access cannot be barred. Rules and regulations for use of a certain space should be made clear to everyone, male or female, who wishes to access that space, and strict enforcement should ensure that people respect those regulations or else be asked to leave. We are not however, very big fans of enforcement it seems; people smoke freely in no-smoking areas, litter unabated and flaunt their disrespect for the rules, but enforcement entails more hard work and constancy than blanket discrimination, so we opt for the latter.

People in our society need to be allowed to be able to move freely and to exercise their constitutional right of access to all public spaces regardless of age/ gender/ socioeconomic status, so we can set ourselves on the path towards a natural and healthy state of existence and co-existence.

Barring boys and men from public spaces is against the Jordanian constitution, which grants equality to all Jordanians under the law, but this is a fact that few people seem to realize. Only by preserving the right of the individual but by raising the value of the individual, both male and female, and his/her contribution and presence in public life, the result is more conscious, responsible citizens who have a higher stake in the overall shaping and preservation of society and its norms.

Raghda Butros is an urban activist, grassroots community organizer, social entrepreneur, the first Ashoka Fellow from Jordan, and the founder of Hamzet Wasel, a citizen-led initiative in Amman.

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