Shu hal ibizaz ;)

What an inspiring article. I can totally relate to that, I experience it every single week and sometimes daily!! Walking from my car to the office reception becomes stressful because for some reason people driving by have the urge to honk the horn or yell something which thankfullyI cannot make out. Don't get me started on public events where at one point I got physically harassed and not by civilians.

Please share the initiative with us, I know so many women who would love to speak out and be a part of it.

Most of these women are not asking for it… and even then… the man is at fault. Most of the women who are objectified on the streets of Jordan are dressed decently. Many of these shameful men are married. They should love their wife so much that they have no interest in looking at other women… no matter how much you think they may be asking for it.

and… If these women are at fault… how much harassment does being cheaply dressed deserve? Just words, an “accidental touch”, a groping, rape?

@Aseel “we claim to be a conservative, religious society where such things rarely happen if ever.” Did it ever occur to you that it is in fact because we are a conservative,religious society that these things happen. I mean really what do you expect when the genders are segregated, pre-martial sex is taboo, and women are covering more and more. There is a straight correlation between an increase in conservatism and religious dogma with harassment; think Egypt or East Amman. You think women are getting harassed on the streets of Greece, Canada, or Switzerland? It never ceases to amaze me how people say that harassment is increasing and yet can't seem to notice the similar increase in conservatism. Our parents lived in a much more liberal Jordan and hence harassment was much less; seeing an unveiled women in those days was not such a alien sighting.

I appreciate the courage, I think that girls aren't outraged when these incidents happen, it's sad but we have to admit that we have become used to it. Shameful, yes, but that is the truth.

So men are Allah's tools to punish “disobeying” women?

No they are not…its a consequence of their actions. In fact Allah gave the man the authority upon his wife and daughters to control what they wear “FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT”! But with all the Islamic absence now adays and all the organizations which call for “FREEING” the women and giving them more “rights” (but in face if you think about it, all these organizations and movements are actually taking away their rights) with all those organizations and movement the MOST men have lost control over their families. With the absence of Islamic laws (which if you study them you will notice that harrasments will not exist, and if they do exist they will be treated in a right way) such harrasments are a definite consequence, and if you want to treat it you have to put Islam back into life; you have to put the true Islam not the Islam the people are calling for now (pray, go to Masjid, fast, zakah…that's it). Islam is a way of life, not just some rules. And history has proven the greatness of Islam.

How utterly ridiculous yet completely unsurprising to lay the blame of MEN'S actions on WOMEN who most likely did absolutely nothing to invite any sort of harassment. Just walking down the street in public seems an invitation to some men to cat-call, grope, and get too close to a woman. By your reasoning, if a woman is not dressed in the 'Islamic' way then she is asking to get harassed or even raped. What about women who aren't muslim? Who aren't even arab? do they have to dress in an 'Islamic' way too? What is 'Islamic' anyway? where do we draw the line between what is considered modest clothing or slutty clothing? so you think if a woman isn't wearing a hijab then she's out in a skintight miniskirt? Please.

I have a better solution. Instead of telling women what to do to avoid the problem, how about getting to the root of the problem, which is addressing why men feel like they are entitled to harass women. How about instead of telling women to cover up, we tell men to RESPECT women no matter who they are and where they come from or what they wear. How about we address this sick culture of ours whereby women are put into two categories: virgin/whore.

This isn't a religious problem. This is a cultural problem and people like you highly offend me because you think just because a woman doesn't appear outwardly religious then she is 'asking for it'.

I see your point Aseel, You validate them by making any sort of Remark, but staying quiet also encourages the victimizer. I would much rather shame the man than stay quiet. At a point in Uni i heard a girl scream because some guy grabbed her in broad daylight in a crowded area. I was furious not only at that, but I heard two men walking infornt of me saying 'btistahal' (she deserves it). She did not do anything other than walk to the uni main gate!
Irrespective of how gorgeous a woman is or what she is dressed like, why is it that men can't keep their comments to themselves. Appreciate beauty, that's fine but keep it to yourself you don't need to be vulgar , vocal and definitly not physical about it!

What puzzles me the most is that harrasment has never been restricted to women that are dressed in appealing figure hugging clothing or what not, it happens irrespective if the women is vailed even. It's a cultural problem of lack of exposure and tolerance. It's also the male chauvinist societal dynamix where men's sexual drive is superior and acceptable and any actions are blamed on the women. If this ideaology is broken, we will be harrassment free.

I totally agree with you “Aseel” and the guest above, some girls wearing Hijab suffered from such harassment, as I don't believe its a religious related issue.

but my point -in a previous comment that have been attacked :P – is *BESIDE* having the blame on some Men for that action, there is a blame on **SOME** women with an exposed and totally not decent cloths that encourage such practices. those kind of women insult other women with there acts.

hopefully not get understood wrong this time :P

First of all I wanna say that this is an amazing article! The more women stand up for themselves like this, the more men will start to respect themselves when addressing a woman (hopefully), or at least objectify them less.

Now consider the deeper root of the problem if you may. Why are they “perverted”? I think they are perverted due to a social structure problem; a lot of the country is conservative while there is the new rising idea of independent women. Even women objectify themselves at some point. Just like in that time when there was this time when they wanted more equality between men and women and some women even stood against the idea.

Yup here it is look: http://www.mab3oos.com/2009/08/blog-post_04.html

Anyway, I think the men are “magatee3″ in a way or another, and come on look at pop culture, and look at the independent taboo defying world we live in, they are bound to be shocked if they're born in a conservative world! (By the way before you get all excited and attack me, I'm not defending the harrassing people, just justifying it in order for another way of attacking this phenomenon)

So now the education system in Jordan should move a bit forward and educate people about that stuf; because the world is changing, and those harrassers (is that a real word? Nevermind…) are actually victims of that change that they can't keep up with.

If some people catch up with the new world, people who are socially excluded are unable to do so, so independent women would still be something different for them.

It's a cultural shock in a way. We have 2 different cultures in a country, and it's just that some people are still shocked by the “newer culture”, since they still have a different view of women.

So while we all fight off disrespectful people and put them to shame, you should realize that there should be another arm working at the education of future generations to end this “plague”.

Leave religion out of this, man. This isn't an attack on any religion. It's all about the clash between cultures.

And if you ask me, you're being really subjective aobut the subject. Let people do what they want.Oh and I'm a muslim by the way, and my mom and sister are very much free in whatever they wear and they wear revealing stuff sometimes just not to a place where people have that “short is wrong” idea, and they're very respectable women, and very strong, independent, and self-respecting. So it really depends on the women themselves. They have rights, but how the hell is it taking their rights away? The idea of women having rights, is that they at least have a choice, and I think having that choice itself is a majorly good thing to have.

Great article, I think that harassment is one of the tools men use to demonstrate and strengthen their authority in such male dominant societies. They use this technique less against covered women and even less against more covered women, more covered women are an example of obedience and their number shows the power of man in such societies.

lol… how stupid it is to tie a woman's existence with her flirting and wearing short skirts…! is women empowerment a synonym for women wearing bikinis? or is it a synonym of them being a productive part of society..

sorry for grammar and/or spelling mistakes

I'm a woman and I actually sort of see your point that if we want to show a lot of skin and cleavage we should expect that guys (especially those who have years worth of suppressed sexual energy) will feel compelled to say something. The problem is the sort of thing these guys say and the way they say it. It really doesn't come off as a “compliment”. I'm willing to be a good sport and accept something like “aish ya 7ilu”… versus the more graphic and offensive stuff we hear on the street.

And SJ here is right too… where do you draw the line and how do you define “provocative”? In my social dictionary I would agree that walking on the street wearing a shirt showing cleavage is provocative, but for some man in our sexually deprived society a regular below-the-knee-length skirt is provocative.

And this all takes us back to the root cause of so many evils in our society – sexual deprivation. If men (and women) reach puberty in their teens and don't get married till their late 20s or early 30s.. we're talking about 15 years of sexual energy that's not allowed to be channeled in a healthy way. That's just against nature and against whatever Creator we believe in. And I personally don't think early marriage is the answer because i don't think teenagers are equipped and mature enough emotionally and mentally and psychologically to make decisions that are supposed to stay with them for life.

So if this society decides not to be too hung up on abstinence until marriage, so many of our headaches would be spared… not least of which harassment I suppose. We'll also have less murder, if men didn't feel that they needed to cleanse their “honor” by taking the lives of their “misbehaving” wives, sister, and daughters.

Believe me Mr. Obdelhadi, any grown up woman living in the Middle East ***KNOWS*** and can recognize an act of sexual harassment. I've had countless incidents from physical to verbal sexual harassment. From men getting their pants open on street corners to others daring to touch… I've always named and shamed them even slapped them and got one arrested once.
It was a big relief when I moved to the west. Walking down the streets freely being left in peace. I still dread having to walk down the streets of Damascus just for knowing what I have to put up with.

i agree that the root cause is sexual deprivation.. and it's not just a problem for women.. when I go out in shorts.. women stare so much I think their eyes will drop out.. the other day two girls stared so much i felt it necessary to get out of the supermarket i was in and wait until they got out…
BUT… We will never ever ever stop believing in abstinence until marriage.. marrying young would be perfect… maturity is not an issue.. teenagers led armies at the age of 15… kids are as mature as the tasks we designate to them.. early marriage IS the solution.. a drastic change in the demands for marriage are the things we should seek.. it should become common for a college student to get married and for his wife to move in to his home with his parents or some other solution..
UNTIL that happens.. we should both turn down the sexiness and turn up the virtue and self-control..
Abstinence all the way!

have as much issues with religious clothes as you want.. but mocking the faith of millions of women is uncalled for..
if a woman who wears hijab calls girls who wear mini skirts.. white trash bitches… you would be offended and call her an ignorant extremist..
so you should be respectful towards the other side just as you expect them to be respectful to you…

I liked your reply by mistake trying to reply.

I think people just need to control their sexual urges more our of respect. That's all. Why should a person's individual space and choice be affected by how much repressed sexual energy they have.

Also, I am not for early marriage.

You piss me off (I say that as respectfully as I can), let them choose whatever the hell they want, it's none of your business (not religiously nor morally) to tell people what to do or what to wear. You kill religion this way, and you kill its image. Shame on you.

The idea is that even if someone wears a tree's leaf over their genitals, they should be respected and not commented on rudely like that. People choose different things, and IN OUR MAJORLY VARYING society and social structure, we need to respect eachother rather than impose our ideas.

But please stop giving out a bad image about our religion.

Also, (general statement): saying that “women braught this upon themselves since they dress provocatively” is like a murderer saying “I held the knife out, he ran into it”

I never read your comment.. i was repulsed by your haut couture mockery… my reply was directed to that sentence only.. i'm not going to read it either.. when you start this way..

I'm sorry, but putting the blame on women is really stupid. It's as if a woman is beautiful and because she is, she deserves to be harassed constantly. Even if we want to wear a miniskirt, there's no way you can say it's our problem, we should dress the way we want to! I don't mumble at men I like in the street!

There is no way to justify the disgusting and obnoxious comments, cat callings, honks, looks that men give women here. And really it doesn't matter what you're wearing, because I tried it, it's the same with a skirt than it is with pants or covered. They think they have Carte Blanche for anything. I guess it must be due to the sexual frustration in this country, at least that's the only reason I can find. Men look at women and women look at men everywhere in the world, but here it's done in such a repugnant way it makes you want to slap them.

Just for the sake of clarifying the matter, I believe he says he has issues with them, he did not mock them. People mock my long hair, and some people just don't like it. I don't mind opinions, but enforcing opinions is different. I believe he merely expressed it.

Excuse my digression.

Saed, YOU do not see it as mockery, but I do. I said have as much issues as you want, but the description was clearly (though you don't seem to see it) not respectful. In other words, it is Ok to express your opinion, but it is never Ok to mock! (Again, “religious haut couture designer religious clothes”… not so good!)

I constructed enough logical arguments in all my previous comments. Read through them if you are interested. If the mockery was in the end of the argument I would be repulsed too and I would hesitate to argue logically with someone who seems to have some kind of prejudice.

I have the right not to read through any persons comments. I have the right to express disgust from only one sentence or only one word for that matter..!

You are more than welcome NOT to take my points into consideration IF you don't feel like it..