Photo by Faridon Abida
في الذكرى ال 20 لاتفاقية حقوق الطفل ، و بمناسبة اليوم العالمي لوقاية الطفل من الإساءة, 19 تشرين الثاني (نوفمبر) ، تعقد مؤسسة نهر الأردن ، بالتعاون مع جامعة الدول العربية ، سلسلة من الفعاليات حول موضوع العنف ضدالأطفال.
وضعنا مجموعة من الأسئلة في هذه المناسبة عن واقع الإساءة للأطفال في الأردن و ردود فعلنا كأردنيين نحوها. كيف يمكن تعريف إساءة معاملة الطفل؟و هل هناك انتشار واسع لإساءة معاملة الأطفال في الاردن؟ كيف يتم التعامل مع موضوع العنف ضد الأطفال ؟ ما دورنا كأفراد في الحد منه؟ اذا كان جارك يضرب ابنه باستمرار على مرمى سمعك, هل من الممكن ان تتدخل؟ و كيف سيكون تفاعلك؟
ستختتم هذه الفعاليات بمسيرة وطنية تحت عنوان “مسيرة أطفال من أجل حماية الأطفال من الإساءة” يوم السبت الحادي والعشرين من تشرين الثاني (نوفمبر). تهدف هذه المسيرة الى تعزيز سلامة الأطفال في جميع أنحاء العالم العربي. لمزيد من المعلومات يرجى الاتصال ب دانا بلقر من مؤسسة نهر الأردن عن طريق الهاتف 06-4925095 أو على البريد الالكتروني:
In observance of the 20th Anniversary of the Convention on the Rights of the Child and World Day for Prevention of Child Abuse, November 19th, The Jordan River Foundation, in collaboration with the League of Arab States, is to hold a series of events around the subject of child abuse.
We’ve put together a few questions about child abuse and how Jordanians respond to it. How do you define child abuse? Is there a high prevalence of child abuse in Jordan? How is the topic of child abuse dealt with in Jordan? What is our role in preventing child abuse? If you hear your neighbor, routinely beating their child, do you get involved? How do you get involved?
The events will conclude with a national walk under the title of A Children’s Walk to Call for Prevention of Child Abuse on November 21st, 2009. The walk aims at promoting child safety all over the Arab World. For more information please contact Dana Balqar at [email protected] or by telephone 06-4925095.
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This is a tough one,as I am fairly new to this country and am not completely familiar with legislation regarding this. I am tempted several times a day to call the cops when I see countless people endangering their children's lives by holding them in their laps in the front seat of a car instead of having the child in a car seat. Back in Europe or North America, I would report parents for doing this, so I would definitely report neighbours for physically abusing their children.
I often hearing screaming/fighting and what sounds like hitting. Its difficult to tell when, if, or how to become involved. Since the area I live in is so tightly populated, everyone kind of hears everything going on.
I've been told that simply knocking on the door, and leaving before people answer is a good way to be anonymous yet let the abuser know that someone is listening.
there's always the family protection unit (7emayet al ou2sra) who i hear are fairly good at what they do. however, even this mechanism is not well known. how many people know the unit's number for instance? so a lot more needs to be done to get the information out there, and make people aware that there are ways.
the problem is, in jordan, beating children is widely accepted. no one interferes because everyone pretty much accepts it and encourages it. there is a 'it takes a village to raise a child' mentality, so even a neighbor or a teacher will hit the kid living next door with the acceptance and encouragement of the parents.
i'm not so sure if i personally disagree with this kind of environment. the only problem i have is the limits and controls…the line between spanking/beating and all-out abuse. it's a line that seems to be blurry most of the time but because hitting is so accepted as a form of raising kids in Jordan, abuse is often overlooked or not paid attention to.
http://www.familyprotection.psd.gov.jo/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=38&Itemid=55
does anyone know the number for the family protection unit?
من المهم الاشارة هنا الى ضرورة محاربة تشغيل الاطفال . ففي الشارع الاردني لا زال تشغيل الاطفال دون السن القانوني مستمرا وخاصة بالنسبة للفتيات كخادمات في المنازل حيث تتعرض هؤلاء الفتيات للاستغلال الاقتصادي وفي بعض الاحيان لسوء المعاملة والعنف الجنسي . من الضروري وضع سياسة شمولية مندمجة في اطار خطة عمل وطنية للطفولة “الاردن جدير بحقوق اطفاله” فالقضاء على هذه الآفة يتطلب من المجتمع محلي التكاتف والنهوض بغيا لتمكين الاطفال من الجنسين من العيش في حياة سليمة.
http://www.familyprotection.psd.gov.jo/index.ph…
I am American, my husband is Jordanian. We just moved here after being in the US for the past 13 years. A couple of days ago my husband went to the school to pick up his sick niece. He came back and was telling me how we had to do something about child abuse while we're here. He heard the teachers hitting the kids and calling them names…”you're stupid, you're a dog, a donkey, etc”. Remember verbal abuse is child abuse. We have heard relatives praise one child and call another stupid in front of many people. We always stick up for the child and disagree. It will take years I'm sure to make difference. But I am so grateful to hear there is already a consciousness developing. BE KIND!! Words are energy. Why would you hit and ridicule your own child? Don't they see the reflection of themselves?? We need to stand up for the child whenever we see or hear abuse, regardless of the “old ways”.
My husbamnd rescued a baby donkey yesterday that the kids were all beating with a stick!! WHY???? The answer is obvious, it is learned from how they are treated. Spread the word and make a stand!! Salaam Alaekum.
What's curious is that there was no why in the list of questions that were advanced..So why is it that abuse is acceptable and/or ignored? Do we have the resources to address this issue? Do we have the will and the leadership? How do you organize people to lobby such issue?
“My husbamnd rescued a baby donkey yesterday that the kids were all beating with a stick!! WHY???? The answer is obvious, it is learned from how they are treated.”
Don't you think this is a broad generalization? it could be that they weren't taught the virtue of being merciful with animals, but to say that every kid who beats an animal does it because they're treated the same way at home is not accurate to say the least.
you're right…there's no question as to “why” this is accepted. but i'd be personally interested to know your take. is it cultural? lack of education. as peacelovelight pointed out, even verbal abuse is now considered to be part of child abuse, yet i can't imagine the average jordanian not raising their kids without the standard tongue lashing that the western hemisphere would consider to be abuse.
i think to a certain extent the topic is as vast and troublesome as the so-called honor crimes. you're dealing with a force that is generally accepted by the masses, and even worse, more commonly practiced.
While abuse is a universal issue, I think we can look at its acceptance at a more local level.I don't have the answer, but it maybe cultural, relegious, and/or economical. Maybe it is that people accept that they have no business with how others raise their kids..Maybe they just want to avoid conflict..Maybe they do it themselves, thus they consider it the norm..
Do we have local research on the topic?If so, maybe it can shed some light on the issue..
We all remember the abu huraira and the cat story..So I don't know..I think that you are being a bit defensive. Abusing an animal is an indication of something deeper.
There has been an article published few years ago on child abuse in Amman. It was interesting in a sense of documenting the pre-risk and risk factors of violence against children. http://irinnews.org/report.aspx?reportid=26889
I think what we are lacking as well is the legal framework which protect these children from physical harm, etc. What would be interested to look more as well to the risk of political theme in the conflict zone areas like Iraq and Palestine.
In my opinion, children who are speak out are the center of the protective environment since they play both an active role in their own protection as advocates for the protection for others.
how am i being defensive? i've just said that: “it could be that they weren't taught the virtue of being merciful with animals”.
The Family Protection Department phone number is 111 but you can also call the helpline at the Jordan River Foundation which is 110 which is free and confidential and you can call it from either a landline or a mobile number and from anywhere in Jordan.
The Family Protection Department phone number is 111 but you can also call the helpline at the Jordan River Foundation which is 110 which is free and confidential and you can call it from either a landline or a mobile number and from anywhere in Jordan.
برأيي لا يمكن ايعاز العنف الجسدي او اللغوي ضد الاطفال الى الدين او الحالة الاجتماعية .واحدة من الأشياء التي تجمعني مع اصدقائي الذين يأتون من مختلف المستويات الإجتماعية و الديانات هي ذكريات الطفولة المتعلقة بالعقاب. يتمكن جميعنا من استرجاع صور الأحذية او الأحزمة الطائرة المصوبة باتجاهانا و تكاد ان تكون الكلمات القاسية التي كان يستخدمها اهالينا لتوبيخنا أنشودة موحدة بستطيع جميعنا ترديدها.
اعتقد ان المشكلة في العنف ضد الأطفال تأتي بالأساس بنظرة المجتمع الى الطفل كشبه إنسان غير مكتمل النمو العقلي و الجسدي بدلا من النظر اليه كإنسان كامل بالنسبة الى سنه. هذه النظرة تقوي من شعور الأهل بملكيتهم للطفل و تحجيمهم له و بالتالي معاملتهم له ” كشيء” لا يمكنه التفكير و الحوار . ايضا لا يمكن فصل انتشار العنف ضد الأطفال من العنف في المجتمعات بشكل عام. حيث كما يلجأ الأفراد الى العنف لحل المشاكل بينهم لاختصار الوقت و الجهد التي سيأخذه اللجووء الى الأجهزة المختصة , يلجأ الأهل للعنف كحل اسهل لردع الطفل من القيام بشيء ما بدلا من استخدام طرق الإقناع و الحوار التي تأخذ جهد ووقت اكبر. يستخدم الفرد منا مع عائلته نفس الأدوات التي يوفرها المجتمع لأفراده. فقمع المجتمع للأفراد يؤدي الى قمع نفس الأفراد لمن هو أضعف منهم خصوصا اذا كانوا تحت “ملكيتهم”.
Well, I didn't necessarily mean that the kids themselves were being abused with a stick and therefore were beating the donkey. What my point there was to say that if children aren't taught respect for all beings then how will know how to treat each other. It will take time and a lot of communication via people, and media. There has to
be a change in consciousness and to generate awareness. That's just what this website seems to be doing. Thank you!!! I was so happy to find this website and see that others are ready to help these issues.
I agree, and it all seems to stem from one's childhood. We lead by example. Child abuse was normal in my Greek grandmother's generation. However, it stopped with her. The child protection laws have been around in the U.S. for decades, yet there are still many cases. Howver, it does help if there's a consequence. I know it has made a huge difference in domestic violence. If you abuse someone, chances are you will go to jail and pay fines. That often stops the person who is angry to hesitate and think twice.
I have to learn more about the legislation in Jordan. Does Queen Rania have the authority to get laws passed? Jordanians much be so to have her, as she seems to be a very conscious lady; who in a good way, is getting a lot of press. I see Jordan becoming a pioneer in awareness in the Middle East. There is a bright future here! I feel fortunate to have moved from America to witness and take part in the transformation happening.
Rule of Law. Rule of Law. Rule of Law. Awareness is nice and good, but people must SEE that there are legal consequences to child abuse. Leniency in this by the legal system matter must have legal consequences in itself. In terms of awareness, there is cultural mind set that needs to be taken into consideration. The culture of fear, shame, and especially the non-confrontational culture. How many people speak up about what they don't like? How many people confront a situation they dislike? So, how do we teach our children to speak up? How do we educate them not to be afraid of telling an adult they know or reporting to the police or a family protection organisation what is going on?
Our childeren need empowerment. And they need an environment they can practice this in.
Great topic, timely topic.
At one local conference I went to on the rights of children, it was announced that the Western definition of child abuse needed to be toned down or every single person in Jordan would be considered an abuse victim (in every area: sexual, emotional, and physical).
I agree that local norms need to be recognized in the equation of change. I have a friend in Belgium who is having to financially support a teen daughter who chose to live with a boyfriend, as it is 'her right', but he is legally bound to provide for her 'needs' even if she is living outside the family value system. I would not want my children to have the 'rights' afforded them Belgium.
It was also said that child abuse was an import from corrupt Western culture. That I did not agree with . The mis-use of children is a universal, bani-Adam problem. Each culture has specific indicators and causes, but none is immune.
Most people talk about kids in Bakaa in giving examples. One of my greatest concerns is that passive emotional abuse of neglect suffered by affluent West Ammani kids being raised by nannies, teachers, coaches, tutors, music instructors and drivers. Many feel like mechanical props in their busy, absent parent's lives. Even the traditional close Arab family model of relationship is lost in the lifestyle.
When I hear or see a parent/neighbor mistreating a child, I always get involved. As a foreigner, I can get away with intervention due to my 'otherness'. More often than not, that parent will immediately cease and apologize for their lack of self-control. I then empathize with the dilemma of kids who make you crazy, that all of us have been there. They are only modeling what they have learned by experience.
Once in the restroom at MacDs, a mother was mercilessly beating a cowering 2 year old. She wouldn't stop, so I grabbed her hand, and she crumpled and burst into tears. We talked about what her daughter does to trigger outbursts of rage, and how to recognize them before she snaps.
SILENCE is what allows it to continue. It is uncomfortable and time-consuming to get involved, but it uses the culturally appropriate value of legitimate shame (on the behavior, not the perpetrator) to change.
I'll write a post about it later.
[…] https://www.7iber.com/2009/11/have-your-say-child-abuse/ […]
I lived in Jordan 10 years and am ashamed to admit that you see so much of it, you become desensitized to it after a period of time. It is shocking. It has become a social disease.
I truly believe it starts in the way adults treat one another. For example, if she is treated harshly, she will be more inclined to treat her children harshly. It is a trickle down effect. And in order for it to stop, it has to stop from the top, with raised awareness for the parents and educators of the country.
I think the 'why' is an important question too, and do not know of any studies that address the topic (except those that look at socio-economic indicators etc). Maybe it is useful to look at the purpose of abuse to start with, so why do the parents discipline their children by abusing them?
To me, it seems a means of inhibiting children from being children: exploring themselves and their world around them. Even with spanking (which is widely acceptable), the reason for discipline is inhibition, not logical argument. Because the parents were unable to think critically of their values they are therefore unable to pass them on in a convincing and flexible manner – and so they resort to abuse, even if we are talking about very mild forms.
And I agree that it is a bit like so called 'honour' crimes because while the 'extreme' forms (abuse/murder) are rejected, their milder 'paths' are not just acceptable, but culturallu valued.
So yes child abuse is a problem, but to address the problem fully we need to look at the reason physical and verbal force (even in 'mild' forms) are used as parenting techniques instead of thoughtful, nurturing discipline. There is an example I once came by that I find very illustrative; to fight malaria, the states went about trying to kill the mosquitoes. They invented DDT, used it widely, and the problem seemed to go away, only to come back stronger and more prevalent than before, especially that the mosquitoes had now developed immunity. In the end, the only means of success was not fighting the mosquitoes, but draining the swamps where they bred and grew.
Family Protection Department in Amman is 5815826 and emergency line is 111 which is not as reliable. There are units all round the country and they are on duty 24 hours a day 7 days a week. They should respond to all calls but the police often use social workers to visit homes unless it is extremely serious. Some parents have no idea how to cope with children and they need help not punishment. I have often come across children who are too frightened to say anything against their parents or the offender because they love them and don't want to see them punished. They can also be frightened of the offender who could tell them that if they say anything their nearest and dearest could be in trouble.
Each case has its own problems and is unique. I would say, to the many comments, that over the years huge awareness campaigns have been put out. And the statistics bear this out. The police and social workers have a huge and difficult job but I am proud to say that our Family Protection project was the first in the Middle East and that other Arab countries are following our example.
Someone needs to stop them from Harming our Future .
In addition to set a new law . Punish them with same abuse .
To feel the same pain in one time
“Punish them with same abuse. To feel the same pain in one time”
If you stoop to their level, you became as bad as the abuser. And who makes you morally justified to decide to punish someone like that?
modo3 kter kber earet 2lkl et7ad 3shan 2noajh hae 2lmoshklh l2 tnso 2no 26fal 2leom hm 2ml mstqblna
I agree with Ramsey. Inflicting more pain is not the solution. “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” ………
ان الاساءة للاطفال اساءة للمستقبل
اوقفوا الاساءة واحموا المستقبل
الاساءة للأطفال لا بد لها من حلول جذريه تنبع من وعينا بحاجات وخصائص الاطفال النمائيه والانسانيه والحضاريه كذلك .
hassan 0797971866
hassan 0797971866
يجب التوعية عبر الاعلام
Is their a national strategy for elimination of child abuse?
انا طفل في منتدى من اجل حقوق الطفل في مركز الملكة رانيا للاسرة والطفل: منتدى الاطفال اليافعين العرب لمناقشة الاساءة للاطفال في العالم العربي وقمنا في اليوم الاول وهو يوم الطفل العالمي الموافق 19/11/2009 بالتقسيم الى مجموعات والى محاور مختلفةوكنت انا في محور(دور الطفل في مجال الوقايةمن الاساءه)وقمنا بعمل سكتش عن الاساءه وطريقة حلها واجتمعنا في قاعة لابرازالاعمال بطرق مختلفةوجميلةواتينا في اليوم الثاني الموافق20/11/2009واجتمعنا وعرض علينااربعة اسئلة فجاوبنا عليها كل مجموعة بطريقتها وكانت طريقتنا اننا نستفز الجمهور للمشاركةوالتفاعل فعندماانتهينا قامت كل محور بكتابة التوصيات لذهابها الى مركز الوطني لحقوق الانسان وجامعة الدول العربيةعن طريق المسيرة والتي ستقام غداًمن مركز الملكة رانيا الى المركز الوطني لحقوق الانسان في تمام الساعة(10صباحاً)راجين منكم الحضور للتفاعل معنا من اجل اطفال العرب
طفل في منتدى من اجل حقوق الطفل في مركز الملكة رانيا للاسرة والطفل: منتدى الاطفال اليافعين العرب لمناقشة الاساءة للاطفال في العالم العربي وقمنا في اليوم الاول وهو يوم الطفل العالمي الموافق 19/11/2009 بالتقسيم الى مجموعات والى محاور مختلفةوكنت انا في محور(دور الطفل في مجال الوقايةمن الاساءه)وقمنا بعمل سكتش عن الاساءه وطريقة حلها واجتمعنا في قاعة لابرازالاعمال بطرق مختلفةوجميلةواتينا في اليوم الثاني الموافق20/11/2009واجتمعنا وعرض علينااربعة اسئلة فجاوبنا عليها كل مجموعة بطريقتها وكانت طريقتنا اننا نستفز الجمهور للمشاركةوالتفاعل فعندماانتهينا قامت كل محور بكتابة التوصيات لذهابها الى مركز الوطني لحقوق الانسان وجامعة الدول العربيةعن طريق المسيرة والتي ستقام غداًمن مركز الملكة رانيا الى المركز الوطني لحقوق الانسان في تمام الساعة(10صباحاً)راجين منكم الحضور للتفاعل معنا من اجل اطفال العرب
I am absolutely privileged to be here today. Participating in such a prestigious conference not only provides us with knowledge; but it also grants us leadership qualities. During those 3 days of conference we had the chance to spread and negotiate the concept of Children Rights. We as children had the opportunity to represent not only Jordanian children but also the children of the Middle East as a whole. After discussing certain issues we came up to conclusion and formed various solutions for those problems which will hopefully help in seizing the problem of child abuse in the near future.
يجب على المراكز المختصة بحماية الطفل توفير الحماية والمستقبل لهم
A crucial issue and one which could be more easily monitored and controlled than abuse in the home, is abuse at schools. I have seen first hand several examples of children, particularly boys, being beaten with sticks and hose pipes in Amman's public schools. This is in addition of course to the verbal, emotional and psychological abuse that the children are subjected to in the form of cursing, belittlement, mockery, ridicule and humiliation, amongst others.
There is no excuse whatsoever for allowing this kind of behavior in schools to continue. On paper, corporal punishment in schools is prohibited, but in reality it is an everyday occurrence and the teachers and school administration are never called on their behavior.
I realize it’s a complicated issue to deal with. I have had numerous discussions with teachers and I know that while they condone beating children and claim that it is the “only way” to deal with rowdy or difficult students, there is also a feeling helplessness and a lack of tools at their disposal to do otherwise. This is in addition to the fact that they too were brought up in this way and to the other disturbing fact that parents sometimes encourage teachers to beat their own children as a way to make them “better behaved”.
With the older boys there is the dilemma as well, that by not allowing the teachers to hit the students; the students would then sense weakness and beat the teachers, which even under the current set-up, sometimes happens.
Teachers and school administrators need to be trained, counseled and treated fairly by the system, but they also need to know that any abuse they inflict on their students will be met with tough and immediate measures that no “wasta” would be big enough to get them out of. We cannot sit by, as a government or a people, while our children are subjected to physical and emotional abuse on a daily basis at public institutions that are set up to serve the people.
It’s no wonder so many boys in the 8th and 9th grade in Jordan don’t know how to read and write. The problem of fear and abuse is at the heart of many of our children’s inability to learn and to become socially responsible citizens.
This is a little off the subject, but I am quite concerned and am asking for any opinion here.
I moved here 60 days ago from California (USA). I have two boys ages 7 and 4. In the U.S. I was homeschooling my kids because I was not impressed with the narrow-minded thinking and teaching in our local schools. As a result I was part of a group mother's who were university educated, peace-oriented, & free-thinking who decided that they wanted “more” for their children's education. We taught based on the methods of Rudolf Steiner and the Waldorf curriculum, however, were not bound to these. It was difficult to leave them behind as our school was very supportive of each child's personality and “gifts”.
We even took a stand on nutrition and many kids were on a no sugar, wheat, dairy or gluten diet. (Although I wasn't quite as strict).
However, here I am in Jordan and need to put my kids into school. I just don't know what to do. I feel SOOOO strongly about positive encouragement and honoring each child's gifts. I DO NOT want my children to be exposed to some of the issues we have been discussing here. They have already lost the sugar-free diet as everyone in our village gives them money and they run to the markets and buy chips and candy. I can see a HUGE difference in their personality already. We will be living in Amman in Abu En Seer. Does anyone know of a supportive and positive school that doesn't cost $14,000 a year?
Have any of you heard of homeschooling in Jordan? Any information would be helpful. Thank you.
Peace love light: I am a fellow Californian who has thoroughly investigated Amman school options and know many home schoolers. Even a few no-sugar/no-gluten families. email me at [email protected]
Peace love light: I am a fellow Californian who has thoroughly investigated Amman school options and know many home schoolers. Even a few no-sugar/no-gluten families. email me at [email protected]
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