A Letter: Interfaith Marriage and Crime

السبت 19 تشرين الثاني 2011
لانا ناصر في عرض حقيبة حمراء في قاعة الانتظار

By Lana Nasser

Where do I get my inspiration?

Different places and times: Sometimes it’s from personal experiences and events, sometimes it’s from stories I hear or read, with a bit of pepper and salt. Sometimes it comes from nature, dreams, and news reports. Sometimes inspiration just comes, from a place unknown to me. Usually, it’s a combination of all those things.

Below is a paragraph from my latest performance, “In the Lost and Found“, followed by the letter that inspired it. The letter is set against the reality that in Jordan, as in several Arab countries, a woman cannot transfer her citizenship to her husband (while the man of course can).

“They tell me I will lose my inheritance if I marry a non Muslim. He has to convert, otherwise the marriage is false, the kids are bastards, and the wife is an apostate, her “blood is permitted” – with no punishment to the killer. I am obliged to give my husband my religion, but I cannot give him my citizenship.” L;- (In the Lost and Found, March,2011)

Letter from Anonymous

I don’t think my story is unique, it happens to many people, but I want to share it with you, because you said this blog is open to women’s stories, and I want to purge mine, and start a new page.

I am a young Muslim woman and I am in love with a Christian. The norm in situations like ours is that he has to convert, otherwise my parents will disown me. And even if they don’t, it’s not allowed legally, as I would be considered an apostate – a sinner. But his family feels the same way. They do not want him to change his religion, they also think their way is right.

Could both ways be right? Aren’t all ways right? People say that the parents have to be from the same religion so as not to confuse the children. But can’t they expose their children to both ways and have them choose? Shouldn’t religion be based on belief? And what about the talk that “The People of the Book” are all mu’mineen (believers) because they worship the one and only God … So what’s the problem if they intermarry and do not change their religion?

My situation would have been different if he was the Muslim and I was the Christian. I could stay on my religion and marry him because the children will be Muslim anyway, according to the law. But this still does not necessarily make the girl’s family accept her. I know several girls from Christian families who had to fight to be allowed to marry a Muslim. Some of them jeopardized their relationship with their family, some were outcast. I also know a couple of Christian girls who married Muslims and their parents accepted their choice and supported them.

But in my case, this is not possible. He has to convert; otherwise we cannot be together. I think there is an Aya about this, but I don’t know it.

I cannot really force him to do it, I cannot force him to choose between me and his family. I know he loves me, but he also loves his mother. It’s even harder for them, because they are a minority. Maybe we should run away together and live in a place where this is not an issue, but where can we go? Neither one of us has a second nationality.

I’m angry and I am confused.

Should I be upset with him? If he loved me enough, wouldn’t he fight the whole world to be with me? But what if he does convert and things don’t work out between us. These things do happen. Then what? He will be totally alone. Why don’t his parents understand and let him just convert by name? But Islam does not recommend converting just for marriage, he should be convinced. But what if one is not convinced? And so what if a husband or wife are not convinced of their partner’s religion? Can’t we still love each other? Why do we all have to be the same?

Maybe it’s my fault for loving him, I should have just stopped myself from the beginning, but I couldn’t. Love does not know religion, it only knows the heart, and when it beats and you feel your soul has found its mate, reason is no longer part of the equation. I could not stop myself from loving him. I hoped that maybe we will fall out of love and things will solve themselves. But we didn’t, and they didn’t. Maybe we got more attached to each other because we knew our love was forbidden …. who knows. What matters is, we cannot be together.

My parents kept nagging me to get married. I argued with them about it for many years (7 years to be exact), but I’m getting older, and I really want to have a family and raise children. Last week, a distant cousin came and asked for my hand in marriage. I accepted. He seems like a good man, and he is taking me to Canada, he lives there. I will go, and being so far, I might forget that I am living with only half a heart.

I feel like I am betraying both men, I hope I can forgive myself one day.

Thank you for publishing my story

Sincerely

Anonymous (Leila)

 

Excerpts from my response to Anonymous:

Dear Anonymous, aka Leila

…. I believe the verse used to explain the rules of interfaith marriage is:

“Do not marry polytheistic women until they believe …. Nor marry your girls to polytheists until they believe.”

(Qur’an 2:221). The word used in this verse is ‘mushrikeen’ which translates as Polytheist; however, some translations of the Quran interpret the word as ‘unbeliever’ … but not to dwell on al-ta’weel…

It is important to note that there is an exception to this rule: Muslim men may marry a pious/chaste Christian or Jew, because they are ‘People of the Book’ and thus are not polytheistic. The children of such marriages are inevitably born and raised as Muslims. However, there is no exception for the woman. She is simply not allowed. I think the rationale is that because the head of the household is the man, he might prevent his children from following their mother’s religion. Another explanation is that since a woman follows the leadership of her husband, and he is not Muslim, she should not follow his command. This of course assumes that the woman is under the authority of the man, and it also negates the possibility of relationships based on pluralism and acceptance ….

 

Three days ago* Juliano Mer Khamees was shot outside the theatre he founded in Jenin. Juliano was an actor and activist, his mother was Jewish and his father was a Christian Palestinian. He fought for Palestinian rights. Haaretz says he was killed by Palestinian militants, the Arab media I skimmed through did not mention the identity of his killers. Whomever did this is a criminal. Why do I say this here, because I think it’s relevant. Will I explain now? No, this post is long enough as it is.

Feature image credit: From the performance “In the Lost & Found” by Lana Nasser. © Bohumil KOSTOHRYZ. (Used with permission)

—-

*First published April 7, 2011

 

38 responses to “A Letter: Interfaith Marriage and Crime”

  1. HHBarham says:

    Why trying to explain the unlogic! Just Demand your right for a civil equal life, for freedom of choice, belief, and expression. Stand strong against any who denies these. My brain cannot comprehend how people can’t see the fakeness and hypocrisy in religions.

    • Lana Nasser says:

      Dear HHBarham – I agree “stand up for our rights and demand them” but it is a bit more complicated when legal issues are concerned (like the inheritance issue, or being considered an apostate) – religion is not logical, amen, but we cannot act like it’s not there. It will take many people standing up together against this phenomenon, but also work on changing law (and re-examining shari’a- from the inside).  

  2. A says:

    Civil marriage..

  3. Sphinx says:

    As a child of parents of different religions, I can tell you that it is hard on the children. I found it impossible to be religious growing up because I felt that to accept one religion would be to reject the other parent. Even if it were allowed for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, I would never do it, not only because I want to end up with someone with similar beliefs to my own but also because I want things to be simpler for my children. They may not end up being religious themselves, but I want to make that as easy as possible for them. 

    • Lana Nasser says:

      Dear Sphinx. Thank you for sharing your experience with honesty; I do not want to undervalue what you said, I see its legitimacy, but there are also people in the world who come from mixed marriages, and where religion does not pose an issue. It is also true that two people might outwardly have the same religion (on paper), but have nothing in common in regards to their true beliefs. If rivalry exists between parents, then that will manifest in whatever way, whether it’s about which religion their children should choose or which career to have, or to marry a Palestinian or Jordanian (another common issue), etc. Isn’t love between two people an act of faith, and can’t compatibility exist beyond religion. I think that if one person is very committed to their religion and feels that their way is the right way, it complicates things. Why do we have to be forced into the religion that we are born into …. why can’t each person just chose what they believe, it should be a personal matter, not one dictated by parents, or the state, or the church or mosque or any other institution. 

    • mutt says:

      i donno what ur talking about, my parents are of different religions and in fact that nourished my upbringing tenfold… i never really felt it to be honest.

      • Deena says:

        I completely agree! My parents are of different religions and if I ever have children, I want them to grow up in a tri-religious household not a bi-one.

  4. Khalil says:

    الدين يختلف عن القوانين الوضعية في كونه يعتمد في الغالب على نصوص مقدسة لا تحتمل التعديل ولا التصويب. وإذا كان الدين الإسلامي يجيز للمسلم الزواج بمسيحية أو يهودية فإن الدين المسيحي لا يجيز الزواج من أي دين آخر سواء للذكور أو الإناث. وطبيعة الإيمان في أي معتقد ديني تعني بالضرورة الالتزام بأحكام هذا الدين وليس محاولة العبث فيها أو تغييرها. أنا أرى أن الوضع الطبيعي هو أن يحترم الإنسان طقوس وشعائر دينه، وهذا بالتأكيد سوف يجلب له احترام الآخرين. أما كثرة الاعتراض والعبث بالنصوص الدينية فهي مضيعة للوقت، لأن الأديان ثابتة منذ آلاف السنين وهي لا تتبدل بحسب الأهواء..وعذرا على كتابة تعليقي بالعربية لكن لغتي الانجليزية المتواضعة لم تسعفني للتعبير عن الفكرة كما ينبغي 🙂

    • Lana Nasser says:

      لا عذراً للكتابة في العربية …بل عذراً لكتابتي بالإنجليزية.  كما يقول المثل “كل واحد بدينه الله يعينه” أو بما معناه … ويقال في الاسلام، لا اكراه في الدين … ولكن الواقع؟ أعتقد ان على الانسان أن يحترم ما يلائم أخلاقه ونفسه، إن كان الدين مهماً له، كان به، وإن لم يكن، كان به. هناك من يحملون راية الدين واخلاقهم وأعمالهم تنافي تعاليم دينهم، وهناك من الملحدين ذوي الاخلاق الحميدة .. .الدين ليس المقياس. لو كان، لكان وضع العالم مختلفاً. أما في موضوع الزواج، فهو موضوع حرية شخصية …. ربما النصوص الدينية لا تغيير بها – ولكن تفسيرها ليس منزل. ولكن السؤال: ألا يوجد مجال للتعددية؟ 

    • Lana Nasser says:

      لا عذراً للكتابة في العربية …بل عذراً لكتابتي بالإنجليزية.  كما يقول المثل “كل واحد بدينه الله يعينه” أو بما معناه … ويقال في الاسلام، لا اكراه في الدين … ولكن الواقع؟ أعتقد ان على الانسان أن يحترم ما يلائم أخلاقه ونفسه، إن كان الدين مهماً له، كان به، وإن لم يكن، كان به. هناك من يحملون راية الدين واخلاقهم وأعمالهم تنافي تعاليم دينهم، وهناك من الملحدين ذوي الاخلاق الحميدة .. .الدين ليس المقياس. لو كان، لكان وضع العالم مختلفاً. أما في موضوع الزواج، فهو موضوع حرية شخصية …. ربما النصوص الدينية لا تغيير بها – ولكن تفسيرها ليس منزل. ولكن السؤال: ألا يوجد مجال للتعددية؟ 

    • Lana Nasser says:

      لا عذراً للكتابة في العربية …بل عذراً لكتابتي بالإنجليزية.  كما يقول المثل “كل واحد بدينه الله يعينه” أو بما معناه … ويقال في الاسلام، لا اكراه في الدين … ولكن الواقع؟ أعتقد ان على الانسان أن يحترم ما يلائم أخلاقه ونفسه، إن كان الدين مهماً له، كان به، وإن لم يكن، كان به. هناك من يحملون راية الدين واخلاقهم وأعمالهم تنافي تعاليم دينهم، وهناك من الملحدين ذوي الاخلاق الحميدة .. .الدين ليس المقياس. لو كان، لكان وضع العالم مختلفاً. أما في موضوع الزواج، فهو موضوع حرية شخصية …. ربما النصوص الدينية لا تغيير بها – ولكن تفسيرها ليس منزل. ولكن السؤال: ألا يوجد مجال للتعددية؟ 

    • Lana Nasser says:

      لا عذراً للكتابة في العربية …بل عذراً لكتابتي بالإنجليزية.  كما يقول المثل “كل واحد بدينه الله يعينه” أو بما معناه … ويقال في الاسلام، لا اكراه في الدين … ولكن الواقع؟ أعتقد ان على الانسان أن يحترم ما يلائم أخلاقه ونفسه، إن كان الدين مهماً له، كان به، وإن لم يكن، كان به. هناك من يحملون راية الدين واخلاقهم وأعمالهم تنافي تعاليم دينهم، وهناك من الملحدين ذوي الاخلاق الحميدة .. .الدين ليس المقياس. لو كان، لكان وضع العالم مختلفاً. أما في موضوع الزواج، فهو موضوع حرية شخصية …. ربما النصوص الدينية لا تغيير بها – ولكن تفسيرها ليس منزل. ولكن السؤال: ألا يوجد مجال للتعددية؟ 

      • Khalil says:

        أنت تتحدثين كما لو كنا نعيش في مجتمع ملحد (الدين ليس مقياس)! والزواج الذي تعتبرينه حرية شخصية..من الذي وضع أحكامه للناس منذ بدء الخليقة؟ أليس هو الدين؟ لماذا نتمرد على أحكام نعلم يقينا أنها أحكام إلهية وليست بشرية؟ إذا كان هناك خلل في تطبيق أحكام الدين فهذا لا يعني أن نأخذها حجة “نتحجج” بها كلما طرح موضوع الدين لأن الشرائع الإلهية هي الصواب وهي تسمو على جميع المبادئ الأخلاقية لأنها، ببساطة، عابرة للتاريخ (المسيحية منذ 2000 عام والإسلام منذ 1400 عام)

    • أخ خليل, هنالك مذاهب فقهية و اجتهادات دينية و تطور اجتماعي و معرفي. و خلافا للتبسيط الخاطيء في أن الدين كتلة واحدة عليك بأخذه كما هو, فالأمر في الواقع مختلف و كل شخص يجتهد بينه و بين نفسه في ترتيب أولويات الفروض الدينية و أهميتها و تفسيراتها. في الحقيقة فان المعضلات الأخلاقية ليست بالأمر السهل و هي حمل على ظهورنا كلنا ان كان دين معين هو بوصلتنا أم لا. 

      و موضوع الزواج لا يختلف عن باقي أمور الدين هنا. كل مؤمن له الحق بتقييم واقعه و البناء عليه. و ان كان الموقف الرسمي للدين الاسلامي برفض الارتباط بين مسلمة و مسيحي و هو حق لمن يؤمن بوجوبه, فان الدولة يجب أيضا أن تعطي الحق بالزواج لمن يقرر بأن خياراته في هذا الامر مختلفة.

      • Khalil says:

        يا سيد فادي الاجتهادات الدينية لا يضعها كل فرد كما يناسب هواه بل هناك علماء مختصون في هذه القضايا وهم وحدهم الذي يستطيعون أن يقرروا. أما أن يأتي كل فرد ويضع لنفسه دينا خاصا به فهذا ينزع القداسة عن الأديان ويجعلها مجرد صور وهمية لمصالح الناس

        • HHBarham says:

          أخ خليل مش عارف من هو العالم المختص، من الذي يمنح هذا المنصب؟ يعني هل تتبع جميع العلماء المختصين؟ وذلك محال لإختلاف تآويلهم، أم أنت تتبع أشخاص معينين وبذلك فأنت تتبع هواك في الدين، أنت تتكلم كما لو أن العلماء ليسو بشراً، لهم معرفة يعصى عن امتلاكها البشر. يا سيدي المعرفة والعلم موجود للجميع. المرجعية هي عقل الإنسان. ولا وساطة بشرية بين الإنسان و ربه.  أما بالنسبه لحديثك عن صحة الأديان بداعي قدمها، فإن البودية والهندوسية أقدم من المسيحية والإسلام وباقون للآن، فهل يعني أنهم أصح لأنها عابرة للتاريخ؟ في النهاية يقينك بختلف عن يقيني و إذا ما فهمنا معنى حرية الإختلاف رح نعتدي عل الإنسان دائماً حتى بأتفه الأسباب. 

    • أخ خليل, هنالك مذاهب فقهية و اجتهادات دينية و تطور اجتماعي و معرفي. و خلافا للتبسيط الخاطيء في أن الدين كتلة واحدة عليك بأخذه كما هو, فالأمر في الواقع مختلف و كل شخص يجتهد بينه و بين نفسه في ترتيب أولويات الفروض الدينية و أهميتها و تفسيراتها. في الحقيقة فان المعضلات الأخلاقية ليست بالأمر السهل و هي حمل على ظهورنا كلنا ان كان دين معين هو بوصلتنا أم لا. 

      و موضوع الزواج لا يختلف عن باقي أمور الدين هنا. كل مؤمن له الحق بتقييم واقعه و البناء عليه. و ان كان الموقف الرسمي للدين الاسلامي برفض الارتباط بين مسلمة و مسيحي و هو حق لمن يؤمن بوجوبه, فان الدولة يجب أيضا أن تعطي الحق بالزواج لمن يقرر بأن خياراته في هذا الامر مختلفة.

  5. Z. says:

    I went through the same experience but ended up marrying my wife and we are still together 10 years later. The crazy part is that none of us actually ever believed in religion and are atheist. So technically we are not part of any religion but are forced to abide by the rules of both religions when it comes to the state. Our only crime? Being born to a religion that was never our choice.

    These laws have to be changed and you are completely right in saying we have to band together to make it happen.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I’ve know Muslim women who ended up marrying Christian men because the Christian men became Muslim,  the parents and the man himself didn’t care what he had to do and so converted to Islam to marry the muslim woman. I know 4 couple’s who did this. On the other hand, as in my case, I am a muslim man who is in love with a christian woman, my parent’s and I don’t mind and don’t care, they said “it’s your marriage, not anyone else’s”. My partner feels the same way but because her parents being christian, she can’t even bring up the subject that she’s in love with a muslim because they will dis-own her. For some cultural reason, it’s easier for a christian guy and a muslim woman, but extremely difficult when it’s vice versa. My point being, I accept some of the previous comments that religion is there not to be played with, etc, however, it’s a personal issue, if i do no want to abide by religion, why should i be forced by the state? Is my only chance of being with the one I love kidnapping her to cyprus or some other country to get a civil marriage, like what a few others have done? I’m not very knowledgeable in women’s issue’s in Jordan but there’s always talk about empowering them in politics and office, etc. What about in the home?

  7. Anonymous says:

    I’ve know Muslim women who ended up marrying Christian men because the Christian men became Muslim,  the parents and the man himself didn’t care what he had to do and so converted to Islam to marry the muslim woman. I know 4 couple’s who did this. On the other hand, as in my case, I am a muslim man who is in love with a christian woman, my parent’s and I don’t mind and don’t care, they said “it’s your marriage, not anyone else’s”. My partner feels the same way but because her parents being christian, she can’t even bring up the subject that she’s in love with a muslim because they will dis-own her. For some cultural reason, it’s easier for a christian guy and a muslim woman, but extremely difficult when it’s vice versa. My point being, I accept some of the previous comments that religion is there not to be played with, etc, however, it’s a personal issue, if i do no want to abide by religion, why should i be forced by the state? Is my only chance of being with the one I love kidnapping her to cyprus or some other country to get a civil marriage, like what a few others have done? I’m not very knowledgeable in women’s issue’s in Jordan but there’s always talk about empowering them in politics and office, etc. What about in the home?

  8. mutt says:

    my mom is an orthodox christian and dad is a shiite muslim and i turned out totally fine, in fact i get twice as many holidays to celebrate..

    • Katrina Najjar says:

      What about your religious identity?  How do identify?  as a Christian or as a Muslim?  Its not confusing for you?

      • mutt says:

        Religious identity ? I think I am agnostic

        • Hipster Athiest says:

          No you are Muslim by law.
          Your mom is not Christian anymore.
          Christian marriage had rules,if you didn;t like them or think it is stupid to follow or was put by narrow minded people
          then fine,but stop calling yourself Christian

  9. Jamierome says:

    I am in an interfaith relationship she is Christian and I am Muslim, we have been married for 4 years and we have a son. They are my life, and if we r given the choice we would do it again. Religion should bring people together and not keep them apart. With that said, it is difficult, just because marriage is difficult even if you are of the same religion. My advice, is that you need support from people around you in this life, if the most important people in your life and his life are supportive then it will be easier. I once heard that a fish and a bird can fall in love but where will they build their nest? You need to figure out where and how you will build your nest. Good luck, it is a painful situation…but we are living proof that it works….so far at least 😉

  10. NermeenMurad says:

    Thank you for the debate and discussing this issue with such calm logic. I am a muslim woman who married an English man who was christian until he converted to marry me. we have two sons and have been married for 12 years now. We never considered our faiths as an obstacle but an opportunity to teach our children that all people are equal and that spirituality can be manifested in different belief systems which are all to be respected. The comment about the children finding it difficult to become religious is a comment I can understand and have seen with my eldest (10 yrs old) because I can feel that he wants to believe and perhaps he finds it difficult to believe in a single belief system because we havn’t taken sides. But I believe that this process will contribute to his spiritual maturity and his goodness as a citizen of the future where he doesn’t become indoctrinated in exclusion and actually undergoes the struggle that will bring him to inclusion and acceptance of others. We cannot forget that choosing to stand against dogma in religion is also a belief system and it is also a choice for a parent to want his children to take the name of the religion less seriously and concentrate more on the content. Again thank you for bringing this issue up

    • Like like like 🙂 

    • Farahkheetan says:

      why did he have to change his religion to marry you?why couldn’t he stay on his faith and yet was able to share his life with you? 
      is it still interfaith marriage if he converted?
      in our society christians will have to sacrifice,either by converting (men) or ‘dishonoring’ their families (females). is it fair for one side only to take the major responsibility? if we are demanding interfaith marriage we should be fighting for a civil country and civil law.

      • NermeenMurad says:

        the reason he had to change his religion is partly legal and partly to address my family’s concern (his family didn’t care). After that hurdle was crossed by his decision to be the one to go through the change we actually have an interfaith marriage. We celebrate both religions fully in our household. With our christian friends, our children participate in baptism ceremonies in church and with our Muslim friends they attend Eid parties etc. In our house we observe Iftar family meals with extended family during ramadan and we host christmas lunch for all our family and friends. Our decision was less painful and the sacrifice was smaller because he wasn’t Jordanian and the decision to change his religion was a personal one which in no way involved or impacted any of his family or his community. Clearly the issue in our part of the world is that it does. I believe that society needs to move towards allowing more personal freedom in religion before interfaith marriages between Jordanians are actually possible with minimum pain. I agree we should be fighting for a legislative process informed by civil rights and not religious dictates. sorry my answer is long but I feel quite strongly about this as clearly you do. Regards

        • Christina says:

          Nermeen, the double standards of it all though is that the solution you found only works for a Muslim woman.  If an Arab Christian woman was involved with a Muslim man who did not mind converting to Christianity to marry her, it is completely taboo, although everyone seems perfectly happy with the opposite..

          • Hipster Athiest says:

            Katrina,you are backward,narrow minded you are mitkhalfeh so uptight

            Yes,when it is the other-way around,everyone stay quiet,

            A Christian girl just want to get what she wants,so she start saying religion is so narrow minded,fine she has the right to believe so,but if she converts to another religion,this means she has accepted it,does she then dare to say anything?
            Or just because she wanted a certain guy she did what she did?

    • Hipster Athiest says:

      Your husband was of a Christian background,but not a true believer.
      otherwise he would not have converted.
      Now,he has accepted Islam and should follow it.
      Converting just for the sake of marriage because the other religion would not allow it,is deceive.

  11. NermeenMurad says:

    Thank you for the debate and discussing this issue with such calm logic. I am a muslim woman who married an English man who was christian until he converted to marry me. we have two sons and have been married for 12 years now. We never considered our faiths as an obstacle but an opportunity to teach our children that all people are equal and that spirituality can be manifested in different belief systems which are all to be respected. The comment about the children finding it difficult to become religious is a comment I can understand and have seen with my eldest (10 yrs old) because I can feel that he wants to believe and perhaps he finds it difficult to believe in a single belief system because we havn’t taken sides. But I believe that this process will contribute to his spiritual maturity and his goodness as a citizen of the future where he doesn’t become indoctrinated in exclusion and actually undergoes the struggle that will bring him to inclusion and acceptance of others. We cannot forget that choosing to stand against dogma in religion is also a belief system and it is also a choice for a parent to want his children to take the name of the religion less seriously and concentrate more on the content. Again thank you for bringing this issue up

  12. B. says:

    I hoped so hard as I was reading this that there would be a happy ending. Then I realized there really is no such thing in this situation; someone’s life will be shattered one way or another. The question is, whose life do you shatter: your family’s or your own? I gave up the one thing I’ve ever truly been certain of in my entire life because interfaith marriages would break my father’s heart. It would completely destroy him. He is a good man, extremely open-minded otherwise, and wants the best (as he knows it) for me. In fact, this is the reason I could not take a stand against my family when it came down to it. Do I regret my decision? Yes, everyday. But I would have regretted any decision I took. Still, at the end of the day, how I deal with religion and culture is my decision – not the state’s – and that’s the way it should be.

    For the record.. I know an interfaith marriage would be difficult, but who decided I was looking for an easy way out.

    Here’s hoping for a two-faith solution… and good luck to all of you facing the same issue.

  13. saif says:

    thank you for bringing such a critical topic…….i think if any couple share the same vision and goal of their lives, and if they match each other materially, intellectually and spiritually, then religion should not be a problem.. it’s strange how people change the purpose of religion from a reason of unity and harmony to become the reason of hatred and disunity among people. and one more thing,,, if religion should be inherited as some people argue, then no wonder why moral degeneration and prejudices are spread in our countries.. Investigating the truth is a concept we 
    always call to apply in our lives, so why in choosing our religion applying this concept become
    prohibited?

  14. gael garcia says:

    toz toz tozzz. i’m the product of an interfaith marriage, so are my cousins, so is my niece. i’m proud that my family has muslims, sunni and shia, christians, catholic and maronite, jews and atheists.

    no big deal.

    no one’s life was shattered by these marriages, even with war in the background. because the families had other common bonds than religion: ethics and politics.

    and any residual doubtes melted away when the irresistible babies start arriving. i’ve seen it over and over again.

    legally, mish mushkileh, people have been doing it for ever. civil marriage in cyprus, give inheritance before u die so the state doesn’t take over with religious law, ou bass. there’s lawyers for every problem, anyhow. of course, bourgeois people have an easier time with trips to cyprus and lawyers than working class people. that could be a good campaigning angle.

    now, if you’re not sure and are looking for excuses… 

  15. gael garcia says:

    toz toz tozzz. i’m the product of an interfaith marriage, so are my
    cousins, so is my niece. i’m proud that my family has muslims, sunni and
    shia, christians, catholic and maronite, jews and atheists.

    no big deal.

    no one’s life was shattered by these marriages, even with war in the
    background. because the families had other common bonds than religion:
    ethics and politics.

    and any residual doubtes melted away when the irresistible babies start arriving. i’ve seen it over and over again.

    legally, mish mushkileh, people have been doing it for ever. civil
    marriage in cyprus, give inheritance before u die so the state doesn’t
    take over with religious law, ou bass. there’s lawyers for every
    problem, anyhow. of course, bourgeois people have an easier time with
    trips to cyprus and lawyers than working class people. that could be a
    good campaigning angle.

    now, if you’re not sure and are looking for excuses…  

    • Hipster Athiest says:

      yes,if you don’t like Christian rules,and don’t want to marry a Christian guy but a Muslim guy, then logically you don’t agree with Islamic rules as well,right?
      So you ought to marry civil marriage,not convert because you just want to get married because your heart is beating.
      It is always open mindness and coolisim when it is in one direction,if it was the otehr way around: These converting girls will stay quiet,because they Masla7a and 7ajeh will be affected

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